So, as far as I know, these days 2012 will definitely be the year that the world ends. It'll be just fantastic. I know of at least 4 really upsetting things that have happened this year haha. It seems like trials are hitting people really hard these days. My best friends parents who have been my second family since I have been in primary are getting divorced. The dad cheated and is leaving the family. That dad has been my second dad since my dad died. I broke down crying in the car the other day because my perspective on men is even more so warped now. It makes me never want to get married. I am afraid that God might throw that trial my way because I've already been given a lot. If I have a successful temple marriage for eternity I will be certainly more than pleased. I just hope that is a very good thing for me. I am just so much more than nervous for my life to throw itself my way. I love my life, but right now I feel like I am in a dark place. The dreams I have been having scare me. Last night I had a really weird metaphorically correct dream. I was dreaming I was in the middle of the woods in a log cabin with some buddies and we were laying out on this deck and I heard some howling in the distance and rabid snarling so I told everyone we needed to go inside. We went inside and I heard something running up the stairs at the door I was about to shut. I was about to shut the door and this wolf ran to the top of the stairs and took a leap in my direction snarling and I slammed the door in it's face and struggled to keep the door shut and locked. I shut and locked it quickly, and the wolves seemed to just keep coming and coming and snarling and ramming themselves into the windows that were next to this door. If anyone has ever seen I Am Legend, it felt the same way it felt when those rabid people were running at will smith and he was struggling to keep them away. I woke up and told my mom and she said that was funny because right now in my life I'm dealing with more things than I've ever had to deal with in my entire life. I'm fighting to keep the wolves out of my life. I really feel like I am drowning in pain and anguish, but I'm literally fighting my way out. I've never fought so hard in my entire life.