Captivating

I don't know what it is about this that keeps my attention. I realize some of you won't be able to watch the whole thing due to the fact that you might lose interest, but that's the thing about beauty, it doesn't have a definition and it doesn't have to have one. This song makes me feel comfortably alive, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of who showed it to me, or the situation I'm in, maybe it's because I'm so easily exposed to emotions of all kinds right now, but I'm extremely numb to them at the same time. It's easy to get lost in your own thoughts and creativity with this song. I don't know why, but I love it. 

I just love this because it's true

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

-Rosemarie Urquico

It's funny how lately I've been noticing people being placed into my life by the hand of the Lord. I know everything happens for a reason, and I have noticed why things have happened to me in a specific order in my life. Things need to happen in order for life to go on and for me to be able to progress to where the Lord wants me to be and who he wants me to influence. I go visit my brothers grave only on the beautiful days. That is when I can handle it most. The first time I went there was this last sunday. The boy I'm dating right now was sweet enough not to let me go alone. If I could replay the moment in descriptive words for you I would, but I'll do the best I can. The sting of death is so hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. You feel so numb to everything going on around you that you get to a point where you just don't care anymore. It was nice to have someone there with me to remind me not to be so numb. I remember there was snow on the ground that day and I had forgotten my shoes. I'd just come from my house but I was still in my church clothes, we both were so there was a feeling of reverence I'd say. I walked out into the snow without my shoes, and without a jacket, but it didn't feel cold, I just felt numb. It's a strange feeling to know one of your beloved family members is in the ground. Anyway, being the gentleman that he is he came out after me and put his jacket around me and made me stand on his feet so I wouldn't freeze. At first I got out of the car and was frantic because I couldn't find his grave, I was so disappointed in myself for not knowing where my own brother was buried, but it was nice to have someone there to calm me down and hold me while I cried. It was refreshing to finally get some of that bottled emotion out. I know I have my family, but it's such a different situation than it was with my dad dying. Everyone has a "somebody" now, and then....there is me......It's nice to know I have the support of my friends and family that genuinely care, and it's nice to know that the Lord is keeping me safe from anyone and anything that would make me feel otherwise. I just miss Brandon....so much...