I think today i realized how great of friends i have, but i'm no one's really best friend. I think a lot of this is due to the fact i don't live in Ohio anymore, and that i've never fully accepted living in Utah so i dont let myself get as attached to people here as i did in Ohio....Disappointing

Snowboarding today was incredible. Not only because i really enjoyed being up on the mountain, in fact the weather up there actually sucked a lot haha. Mostly, probably, because i spent time with my sister Britteny who i haven't really been spending time with lately or haven't appreciated time with. And now it all came back. I re-realized how much i love all my family and how funny she is and fun to be around. :) One simple thing that made my whole day

Talents

soooo my mother and i went to lunch today and i was kind of in a funk i guess you could call it and we were talking about highschool and how things are going to start to change with my friends and about college and i realized a lot today. I need to quit being stubborn, and i am fairly good at accepting people's advice but only when they have a solution. It's good to get criticism but only when the person has a solution along with that critical thought. and today my mother didn't so i was getting pretty frustrated but we got off that topic and we started talking about talents and all the talents i wished i had. I don't have any incredible blow you out of the water physical talents. Art is the closest thing i've got because i gave up on all the talents i wished i had. i desperately wish i could still dance. Ballet to be exact. I always had this wish to have been a ballerina....i still want to be one, but that dream is sort of down the toilet. So she started pointing out all the unseen talents that i have that apparently lots of older women still haven't mentally accomplished and it made me feel like a better person, i just sometimes wish i had one of those seen talents that everyone adores. For some reason people seem to like those talents better than the ones that will be judged in the end....and i want one :/....dang

Lately i've been doing a lot of "soul searching" i guess you could call it and I've really come to terms with myself. I actually enjoy the person that i am. it's nice to be your own best friend and to be able to enjoy your own company. Not in any sort of vain way because everyone has their insecurities but in a sense of, i'm physically alone right now and i'm enjoying this. And through my life i've noticed i find a lot of unusual things to be gorgeous and interesting. I notice the beauty in things that appear pretty..ugly..i guess. I see through my own eyes so i dont know what would be assumed to be ugly. ya know? things like, big eye brows and pale skin or albino people. Things like interestingly proportioned faces and gauged ears. I do have gauged ears for those of you that dont know. And i dont have them because it's a trend or because i want to be a part of a certain group. I have these gauges because i think they're beautiful. That's why. And i have a thing with noses....most noses are ugly to me. and if the nose is ugly the whole face is ugly. :/ unfortunately. It's just one of those irritations i have. Anyway, just a thought or two i guess.

Today

Today i realized how badly i truly want to live here. And how fun lipstick is when its not overdone